Starting the Untangling Process Around Money…

Last week I shared in my newsletter I have been taking my relationship with money to coaching for the past month. Why?

Well there are 4 main reasons and these include –

• After a conversation I had with a friend, I realised I still had some work/inquiry to do on my beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviour around money and subsequently knew it was time to look at these obstacles/challenges (because you cannot change what you refuse to confront) and take further responsibility
• Money has been a constant challenge for me in my life and has contributed to my own stress levels
• A number of people I currently talk to and work with have challenges with money
• Quite often money is a taboo subject and is not spoken about.

P.S. Notice I didn’t write about making more money, because for me that is not what this journey is about. For me it is about clarity on where I am in my life in regards to my finances and paying attention to my behaviours/emotions/thoughts/beliefs around money and untangling them (as I know some no longer serve me).

So, What is Money?

I have heard people describe money as many things, but let’s have a look at the definitions of money from a range of sources first as they may give us some clues. According to the following, money is –

• “a current medium of exchange in the form of coins and banknotes; coins and banknotes collectively.” – Google.com
• “…is any object or verifiable record that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a particular country or socio-economic context.” – Wikipedia
• “A medium that can be exchanged for goods and services and is used as a measure of their values on the market, including among its forms a commodity such as gold, an officially issued coin or note, or a deposit in a checking account or other readily liquefiable account.” – The Free Dictionary
• “something (such as coins or bills) used as a way to pay for goods and services and to pay people for their work.” – Miriam-Webster Dictionary
• “…what you earn, save, invest and use to pay for things.” – MacMillan Dictionary

I have also heard people describe money as –

• energy,
• a system of value exchange,
• something we trade for what we want (i.e. things that have a  certain value to us),
• a stand-in for love, joy, happiness or comfort (I can also see these things linked to food and other parts of life), and
• nothing (it’s how we interpret it or what it represents that gives money it’s power).

So now we have had a little look at some of the definitions around what money is, what does it mean to you? Following are a couple of questions that can help you get some clarity around money.

Questions for Inquiry around Money –

• What does money mean to you? Be honest with yourself.
• What does money represent for you? One thing I found was value.
• Where are you currently at with your money? For example – are you aware of the debts you have, the income you receive? Do you know where your money goes each week, month, year? (i.e. to pay for what expenses).
• What is your story around money? What has money done for you instead of to you? (i.e. being responsible/ the heroine instead of the victim – that is one of my insights).

Enjoy inquiring in to these questions and remember to be gentle with yourself – it takes courage to see things as they really are (not as we would like them to be) as there is vulnerability involved.

As Brené Brown wrote in The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” 

Thanks for reading and feel free to share any insights below. I will write more about the untangling process for me again soon. Warm wishes, Jane 🙂

P.S. The next post I wrote that relates to the untangling process is here, transforming my money leaks is here and the 10 things I remembered around money in 30 days here.

If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?

Reference –

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. USA: Hazeldon.