Getting Better not Bitter!

Life has given me many opportunities as well as allowing me to experience many things. I have been fortunate enough to work as a tennis player, teacher, career coach, counsellor and speaker. Throughout each of these professions, I have had my own life experiences and I have also seen first-hand what life can do to people and the adversity people experience.

I have observed what drugs and addictive behaviours can do to people. As well as watch what abuse, cruelty, burnout, obsession, uncontrolled spending and midlife crisis’s can do to individuals and families.

Throughout these experiences, I have seen people broken by their despair and adversity. I have also seen those people who have accepted their experiences, embraced their vulnerabilities and subsequently risen courageously from their experiences. People who have become better not bitter!

How do these people turn their challenges or crises in to fuel for positive change? Whilst others feel beaten by their challenges and become angry, resentful and victimised?

There are many traits I have observed in these people who become better, not bitter from their crisis and challenges. 7 characteristics of these resilient people include –

1. They embrace responsibility. They take the time to identify how they contributed to the situation or experience and learn from it. They consciously choose NOT to play the victim game.
2. They ask for help. They reach out for support when they need it and accept it.
3. They learn to embody self-compassion (and not self-hatred). They realise they are human and will make mistakes. Subsequently, they embody their humanity, practice self-forgiveness and learn from their experiences.
4. They practice emotional intelligence. They learn to listen to, accept and learn from their feelings instead of resisting them.
5. They adopt a growth mindset. They have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset, so they can embrace challenges, learn from criticism, persist in the face of setbacks and find lessons and inspiration from others.
6. They know what is within their control and what is not. They then let go and accept what is not in their control and focus on what they can control.
7. They know their boundaries. They know where they begin and others end. They keep compassion and empathy alive in their life and tune out to gossip, negativity and cruel judgments other people make about them.

Are there any other characteristics you would add for people who are rising strong and flowing towards better, not bitter? If so, what are they? Feel free to share them below or on our Facebook page.

Remember – we all have a choice on this adventure called life and here is a nice reminder of that from Rumi called “The Guest House” 🙂

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

– Jelaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks

If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and living a wholehearted career and life, why not join our Toolkit?