The ability to communicate effectively is an essential skill in today’s world. Communication is a dynamic process and how you communicate can positively and negatively affect the relationships you have in your work and life.
In today’s post, I will be covering –
- What is Communication?
- 5 Barriers to Effective Communication
- 9 Effective Communication Skills
What is Communication?
There are many definitions of communication, including the –
- “imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium” and “means of sending or receiving information, such as telephone lines or computers.” ~ Google
- “act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviours to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else” ~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary
- “exchange of thoughts, messages or information, as by speech, signals, writing or behaviour” ~ The Free Dictionary
- “act or an instance of communicating; the imparting or exchange of information, ideas, or feelings” ~ Collins Dictionary
- “imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium” ~ Oxford Dictionary
As you can see by the above, communication is more than just your words, it also includes –
- how you say it – including the tone of your voice,
- why you say it – the intention behind the message,
- when you say it – for example – during an argument, the time of day etc.,
- what you don’t say – sometimes what you don’t say gives a clearer picture of what is going on than what you say, and
- your body language – including your facial expressions, gestures and posture.
5 Barriers to Effective Communication
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
In many ways, the above quote sums up effective communication! So what are some behaviours that get in the way of communicating effectively with other people? Glad you asked!
Five barriers to effective communication include –
1. Judging the other person.
If you are judging a person whilst you are talking to them you could be criticising, diagnosing or calling them names. An example of criticising is saying “don’t you understand anything?”
2. Not paying attention to the person you are talking to.
Examples of this include – playing with your mobile phone or electronic device, not listening to the thoughts or feelings of the person you are speaking to, looking away when the other person is talking.
3. Using technical language.
Have you ever been at an event when people are using acronyms or language relevant only to their profession? If so, you know what I mean!
4. Giving solutions or unwanted advice.
I am not sure of many people who like to be told what to do! What about you?
5. Avoiding the concerns of others.
In a conversation that is avoiding the concerns of others, the listener don’t address the problem (i.e. the individual’s feelings and concerns are not taken in to account). This can be done in a variety of ways, including diverting the conversation, reassuring the person or discounting the, (i.e. yes, but…).
9 Effective Communication Skills
Effective communication doesn’t happen overnight, it is a skill that has to be cultivated and nurtured. Below are some skills that can be practised to build on or develop your communication skills.
1. Active Listening –
Some ways to actively listen include: listen twice as much as you speak, listen with your whole body, be alert and interested in the other person, refrain from interrupting and reflecting back what you have heard. Remember – “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” ~ Ralph Nichols.
2. Non-Verbal Communication –
We transmit information using words, gestures and body language, subsequently active listening also involves non-verbal communication. Sometimes you can be unaware of the messages you are sending none-verbally. Examples of non-verbal signals include tone of voice, eye contact, facial expressions, silence and hand, arm and leg postures. Are you aware of the signals your non-verbal communication could be sending?
3. Asking Questions –
When you are in conversation with someone, asking questions shows you are interested in them. There are many types of questions you can ask including – open (i.e. questions that start with What and How), closed (i.e. questions that start with Did, Do, Would, Will, Should, Could, Have, Must and Is), specific (e.g. questions that are specific can start with When, Where, Who, Which, How much, How many and How often) or visionary (e.g. what are your dreams).
4. Being Clear and Succinct –
when you are speaking, be clear, articulate and concise. Less is more when it comes to speaking and speak plain English.
5. Clarifying and Summarising –
to ensure you are hearing correctly you can reflect back to clarify what you have heard and summarise what you have heard from the other person. This shows you are listening to the other person and also checks you have the message correct that they are trying to get across.
6. Being Empathetic –
Having empathy for another person is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Not sure what I am talking about – have a look at this beautiful clip called “If We Could See Inside Other People’s Hearts.”
7. Providing Feedback –
It doesn’t matter whether you are giving or receiving feedback, the feedback process is a vulnerable place to be. If you are providing feedback, you may like to use the Engaging Feedback checklist that was developed by Dr Brené Brown.
8. Developing Trust and Rapport –
What is trust for you? How do you build trust with your friends, family and colleagues? Is it about doing what you say you are going to do and building relationships on honesty and integrity? How do you build trust in your relationships? As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated – “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.”
9. Being Present –
Being present links to many of the above skills. Some of the words that relate to being present include being accepting of the other person you are communicating with, allowing life to be as it is, cultivating compassion and having a beginners mind. Thich Nhat Hanh so eloquently says – “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
Over to You…
I hope you have enjoyed this post on communication, barriers to effective communication and effective communications skills. What is your best tip on communication or favourite communication skill? Feel free to share in the comment section below. If you have any questions, please contact us.
If you are ready to take yourself on the journey of getting to know yourself (your true self), why not join the Toolkit (it’s free)? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life.
Page Reference –
I have had many people want to reference this page, so here is the correct reference. Thanks in advance for honouring my work 🙂
Taylor, J. (2015). 9 Effective Communication Skills. [WWW] Available from: https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/ [Accessed …….. ]
195 Comments
Rachel Macon
August 16, 2022thanks very helpful
Ella Rodrigues
June 28, 2022This is very insighful and effective. I find it helpful. Thank you.
Jane
July 1, 2022Thank you – am pleased you found it helpful!
UpsurgePersona
June 3, 2022Good article. Very knowledgeable and informative. I would like to read new articles related to this.
Sharma
May 21, 2022Nice Post – You are unique, Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep it up.
Vijay
May 17, 2022Such a nice piece of article. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. This is a very valuable thing you shared. good stuff!
PracUp
May 11, 2022Great..! Very good article on the latest trending topics, thank you for keeping us updated. Thank you for sharing this article with us.
I provide a platform for you to practice and be an expert in the English language.
Efis
April 8, 2022Nice article, thanks for sharing !!!!
PracUp
March 1, 2022Hi, I find reading this article a joy. It is extremely helpful and interesting and very much looking forward to reading more of your work.
Medconverge
February 28, 2022This is a very purposeful and useful information one should have. The in formation provided above can be seen in only some articles like this. I personally thank the article writer for writing such knowledgeable information with all of us. thank you.
Edwin Turner
January 29, 2022I just like how you have articulated the issue. Communication is an essential part of human life. Keep up the good work
shreya
November 11, 2021I was looking for the same, it’s an excellent blog. It tells us detailed information about communication skills, Thank you for sharing
Jane
November 12, 2021Thank you!
Alton Lawrence
September 26, 2021Hi I am interested in participating in a full communications skill course to improve my performance on the job. How can I register and will I receive a certificate.
My Tel. # is xxxxxxxxxx
Jane
September 29, 2021Thanks for asking Alton – at the moment we do not have a communication skills course online. Hope you find one that suits your needs 🙂
Nyandega Rhoby s
August 4, 2021Communication is critical and information shared here is helpful
Ethan Stormes
July 6, 2021Good read, this is very informative. Thank you for discussing this very important topic. I hope many entrepreneurs can see and apply these to their business.
Bhagyalaxmi
April 5, 2021THANK YOU, mainly for sharing the barriers of communication skills.
i will work on my weak areas .
Voni Nyathi
March 10, 2021Thank you for sharing the information in an understandable easy way .
Its clearly presented.
Jane
March 10, 2021You are welcome – glad it was easy to understand 🙂
Mufeed Aziz
February 4, 2021Thank you for sharing this wonderful blog. It gives us detailed information about importance of communication skill 🙂
Jackson
January 7, 2021Very useful
Jane
January 8, 2021🙂
SANDARADURA NISHANTHA SILVA ABEYWEERA
October 30, 2020Hi Jane,
Thank you very much for your valuable information in order to active listening is more important factor for smooth communication.
Once again thank you.
Nishantha Gunasekera
SRI LANKA
Jane
October 31, 2020Thank you – am glad you found it useful 🙂
Wakuma
October 20, 2020An excellent explanation
vinita
October 20, 2020Hi…… I have empressed your articles. Your articles are very well written.
Jane
October 24, 2020Thank you 🙂
Jerome Thomas
September 25, 2020Communication is more then a one way streak. You got to have a open mind when talking to others and to be willing to understand on a personal level. Always make sue that you are very clear and clarify your intentions.
Jane
September 25, 2020Yes communication is more than a one way stretch – thanks for sharing Jerome!
Elisabet Rivera
September 20, 2020I enjoy this reading very much. I believe in learning to know yourself and identify the things you like or don’t like other do or would do to you. It will teach you to be kindness to other in the same way and be a better person. In fact loving yourself and treating yourself with love , kindness, respect, manner eventually you will end doing the send with others.
Jane
September 25, 2020Thanks for sharing Elisabet and I am glad you enjoyed it!
Isabel
August 18, 2020Hi,
I am really grateful that I stumbled onto your website, as I am doing a wellness Coaching course here in Australia and find that I can do with some help in communication skills, but I found so much more on this page that resonates with me, thank you so much for all the beautiful quotes and life lessons!!!
Isabel
Jane
September 12, 2020You are so welcome Isabel – good luck with your course 🙂
Ishwaranand
July 12, 2020Thank u for sharing your nspirational article.
Jane
July 13, 2020You’re welcome 🙂
Terungwa Benki Womboh
July 7, 2020It’s really educative & inspiring.
Jane
July 10, 2020Thank you 🙂
Lalit Bickram SIngh
April 27, 2020very useful for teaching learning or training purpose.
Jane
April 27, 2020Thanks – yes I have heard this article has made its way to a few courses. I can only hope it has been respected with original citations 🙂
Sujani Withanage
April 8, 2020Thanks Jane,
i learnt valuable stuff from this for my communication skills module at Uni.
Jane
April 18, 2020You’re welcome Sujani 🙂
Devendra
March 27, 2020It was very nice and useful training.
Jane
March 29, 2020Thanks for letting me know 🙂
Rishabh Singh
March 26, 2020Great stuff to learn from. Very informative.
Thank you for writing this:)
Jane
March 29, 2020Glad you enjoyed it Rishabh 🙂
Stella Mary
March 14, 2020Hi Jane, Enjoyed reading the post. Very helpful tips about being a good listener, caring for the feelings of the person we are talking to, how to use the words in the right place are so well explained. Thank you for sharing the post.
Jane
March 19, 2020Thanks Stella – yes it is a moment by moment process and take practice (well it did for me). Warm wishes, Jane
Ngozi Onakpoma
October 28, 2020Wonderful write up on good communication skills
Jane
October 31, 2020Thank you!
Jennifer
March 8, 2020Hi, thank u for sharing these great tips. Would u mind if I used them for a reference in a college assignment about effective communication. There straight to the point and very clear to understand. Thank u for writing this article.
Jane
March 9, 2020Thanks Jennifer for asking. Yes you can and please just reference it as indicated on the bottom of the article. Warm wishes, Jane
Mohamed Sarnoh
March 7, 2020H,
Have learnt so much from your stuff. Needed it for my job interview.
Jane
March 7, 2020Glad we can help!
Fr. Obed Karobia
February 11, 2020Hello Jane.
Thank you for this interesting and educative piece. I have a workshop to my friars in the beginning of March and i thought of talking about effective communication. I ask permission to quote you in my talk.
Jane
February 14, 2020Thanks for the message and thanks for asking – you may like to quote the article?
Sarah
February 5, 2020I will be doing several workshops free to the community through my church. My first one is about codependency and healthy relationships (and how to effectively help others) part of the presentation will include good communication. may I use your explanation, skills and barriers? I will give you credit on the handout. I will need a printed copy. Thank you
Jane
February 5, 2020Thanks Sarah – can you please e-mail me – the contact us page has my details? Then we can organise it that way 🙂 Warm wishes, Jane
Wayne
January 23, 2020Thank you for this. I work for the VA Hospital as Peer Counselor working with combat veterans who come from a culture where they use a different form of communication. This material proved useful when facilitating my group(s) and learning how to communicate effectively with spouse, family, friends and work.
Jane
January 23, 2020Thanks Wayne – I am glad it helped. Effective and conscious communication is so important.
husna
January 21, 2020very helpful 🙂
thanks to attached together with page reference..
Jane
January 23, 2020You are welcome!
Carol Imlay
January 11, 2020Simply, easy to understand skills to work on and obtain.
Jane
January 13, 2020Thanks Carol!
Kesa Cavalevu
September 6, 2019Well presented and simple. I do presentations on this topic to our church women members and Pastors wives and find your article very useful Jane. Stay blessed
Jane
September 7, 2019Thanks Kesa – you are welcome and glad you found it useful 🙂
Riina Toakai
August 26, 2019Thanks for your sharing Jane. It is very useful to acquire as a teacher or workers/owner of company, leadership because it leadsd your way for building good communications with peers.
thank you
Jane
August 29, 2019You are welcome – thanks Riina 🙂
NICHOLAS ISAHI
August 21, 2019I’ve been really helped with the piece in my exams thank you so much
Jane
August 26, 2019Glad it helped you Nicholas!
Barbara Martin
August 13, 2019I am putting together a slide presentation for a leadership academy. Your information is presented in a manner that anyone can understand. I would love to use part of it and I will be sure and reference you on the slide.
Jane
August 13, 2019Thanks so much Barbara – appreciate it. If you can reference the url https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/ – that would be appreciated and I wrote the content 🙂 Thanks again for your support!
GEORGIA
July 19, 2019JANE THIS IS ONE OF THE LITERAL PIECE THAT I HAVE READ . THE LAID OUT OF IT WAS WELL PUT TOGETHER , I HAVE LEARNT ALOT . THANK YOU JANE
Jane
July 19, 2019Thanks Georgia for letting me know. Can I ask what do you mean by literal? Have a great day!
Rosalia Santillan
July 18, 2019Hi Jane,
I really like the passage: “THE GLORY OF FRIENDSHIP IS NOT THE OUTSTRETCHED HANDS, NOR THE KINDLY SMILES, NOR THE JOY OF COMPANIONSHIP, IT IS THE SPIRITUAL INSPIRATION THAT COMES TO ONE WHEN YOU DISCOVER THAT SOMEONE ELSE BELIEVES IN YOU AND IS WILLING TO TRUST YOU WITH FRIENDSHIP”
Good job on this 🙂
Jane
July 18, 2019Thanks for sharing Rosalia – I like that quote 🙂
Melissa
July 12, 2019Great tips, really helpful.
Jane
July 13, 2019Thanks Melissa 🙂
Lizilly
June 22, 2019reasons for effective communication
Jane
June 22, 2019Not sure what you mean Lizilly – can you please clarify?
Dee Dee
June 16, 2019Do you have any references for your 9 Effective Communication Skills? They line up with many other resources, but I am wondering if this is self-created, from a single resource or combination of many. Thanks!
Jane
June 16, 2019Thanks Dee Dee for the comment, I created these 9 🙂 If you use them, can I ask you reference them? Thank you, Jane
jackson nyamweno
June 14, 2019I don’t know how to say it but the information there is really helpful. It’s wow!..thanks alot
Jane
June 16, 2019Thank you 🙂
Ranjul Sharma
June 13, 2019Short and crisp, a quick read, helpful information, easy to achieve.
Thanks
Jane
June 15, 2019You’re welcome Ranjul 🙂
susan
April 3, 2019I found the information clear and helpful
Jane
April 4, 2019Thanks for letting me know Susan – can I ask what was helpful about it? Warm wishes, Jane
Kamesh
March 30, 2019I found your take on effecctive communication clear, simple and concise…I tried to copy the stuff but was not able to. Can I download your material?
Jane
March 30, 2019Hi Kamesh – thanks for taking the time to comment. Can I ask why you would like to download it? Warm wishes, Jane
Jonathan
March 25, 2019It is important to learn about Effective Communication Skills.
Jane
March 25, 2019Yes it is Jonathan 🙂
Yo
March 16, 2019I noted all points for my technical communication exam ?
Jane
March 16, 2019Hope they helped you Yo!
Salfa
March 12, 2019Thank you very much for giving as this knowledge of understanding communication
Jane
March 13, 2019You are welcome Salfa 🙂
Lauren B Wegener
February 4, 2019Hello, thank you for this article. I’m trying to work on my communication skills and I’m running into a barrier.
Your article above indicates that asking questions, including specific questions, and clarifying and summarizing what you heard are effective communication skills. I use these frequently because I have a hard time understanding when someone overuses pronouns or uses nonspecific language (referring to “things” or “stuff”).
However, I am finding that certain conversation partners get very upset by how many questions that I ask. Often, when we are discussing an issue, I find myself need to ask several questions in order to correctly decode their message. This seems to upset them. Additionally, I find that the person I am speaking with will begin to answer their own question, by way of an explanation, instead of the yes/no question that I asked.
If I wait until the end, summarize what I understood, and I am incorrect, I get accused of not listening.
I feel that perhaps I’m doing this wrong. Would asking more open ended questions be a better method here?
Thank you for your time.
Jane
February 4, 2019Thanks Lauren for your question. Yes, communication can be challenging sometimes. Without knowing the full details of your situation, I am unable to give you advice. You may like to look in to working with a coach or someone on communication if you see this as a challenge for you. Warm wishes 🙂
Colin
April 24, 2019Interesting question Lauren and you make some great points.
The challenge, as I see it, is simple. Most people are not used to being fully heard, i.e. having someone in front of them who is an active listener. They are more used to having their words heard but not listened to…there is a big difference between hearing and listening. The former we all do, unless audibly impaired, the latter we have to intend to do, to be a listener.
Another aspect is that most of us trot our stuff out without it ever being questioned or challenged, (most find challenge difficult, as their environment is not safe to do so). So they never have to think through their stuff.
The conversation can be a series of monologues not dialogues, again very different.
The reality is that if a speaker is with an active listener who asks questions, great understanding is achieved, a deeper, more meaningful relationship transpires and the work gets done with fewer errors, mistakes and misunderstandings.
Colin
Salvatory V. Massao
January 24, 2020Dear Jane,
Thank you for an interesting article…When a read i saw something like it very easy but going through comments i came to realize that, communication is sometimes complicated and you can find yourself at dillema like what has happened to Lauren.
Thank you so much Jane. Stay blessed!
Sandra Smith
December 3, 2018Dear Jane
I’ve read your website articles with great interest. Do you have any written scenarios I could give to a colleague to help her improve communications with internal and external colleagues and third parties?
Many thanks
Sandra Smith
Communications Team Manager
Jane
December 3, 2018Hi Sandra – what do you mean by scenarios? I work with clients to do what you identified above in coaching, if that helps? Warm wishes, Jane
Kwande Lepnaan Livinus
July 3, 2021I love this page,very interesting and understandable
Jane
July 3, 2021Thank you – glad you found it useful 🙂
Doryn Naira
November 27, 2018Am actually having a paper about communication skills am really glad l came across this thanks so very much
Jane
December 2, 2018Thanks Doryn 🙂
Geoffrey D. Malembeka
November 27, 2018Dear Jane
Thank you very much for your very educative information on effective communication. Surely I will use this material to my student nurses while discussing the Module on Communication. Once again thank you.
Geoffrey
Jane
December 2, 2018Glad you found it informative Geoffrey.
Daniel
November 22, 2018Dear Jane,
Wish I had such practical information when I set out on married life thirty years ago.
Topic of ” Communication” should be part of school curriculum .
Jane
November 22, 2018Thanks Daniel – glad you found it practical 🙂
M.Asim Khan
November 13, 2018Yesterday, I delivered a lecture on communication skills. I took a great help from your article. It’s sufficient to understant the concepts of comunication, effective communication and communication skills.
Welldone
Jane
November 13, 2018Thanks so much – appreciate you letting me know 🙂
John Blake
November 6, 2018A great article. I love the pragmatic 1 – 9 ideas handy for any educator or manager. Keep up the good work Jane.
Jane
November 6, 2018Thanks John for taking the time to comment. Warm wishes, Jane
ELSIE VAN WYK
October 25, 2018Thank you for a very informative and confirmation of communication. More people should read and learn these communication skills.
Jane
October 25, 2018Thanks Elsie for taking the time to comment 🙂
Venkataramanan VR
September 26, 2018Please clarify: Under “What is communication?” it is given ” It includes….What you don’t say – sometimes what you say gives a clearer picture of what is going on than what you say”.
I think a word, “don’t” is missing in the sentence; can it be, ” sometimes what you (don’t) say gives a clearer picture of what is going on than what you say”.
This article is Brief, valuable, must be practiced! I look forward to read more on soft-skills.
Thanking you, regards, Dr. Venkataramanan
Jane
September 26, 2018Thanks Dr Venkataramanan – yes have just added the don’t in – you are the first one who has picked that up 🙂 Thanks again, Jane
Caroline Kisakye
September 4, 2018Wow, well explained and illustrated. Applicable examples.
Jane
September 4, 2018Thanks Caroline 🙂
Jim Fairhurst
June 30, 2018I really appreciated your article on communication. You are right on and I am sharing your article with others. It is one thing to be able to talk but another to speak effectively thank you again for your insight.
Jane
July 1, 2018Thanks Jim – glad you liked it. Warm wishes, Jane
Fermina L Camacho
August 27, 2018What is your last name? I included a quote from this article in my paper and I need to cite this appropriately.
Jane
August 27, 2018Hi Fermina – my last name is Taylor 🙂 Thanks for acknowledging my article – appreciate it.
Mary
September 11, 2022Very informative. Thanks
Lyall
May 8, 2018Thank you! Very informative and helpful. Amazing how valuable comms skills are becoming in different industry’s (IT).
Jane
May 8, 2018Your are welcome Lyall – and yes these skills are important in all professions.
Elkanah chilongo
March 2, 2018Thanks a lot Jane this has really helped me quite a lot with my project.
Jane
March 3, 2018Glad to hear Elkanah – best of luck with your project 🙂
Najeeb koohi
January 31, 2018Very valuable materials you shared, thanks Jane optimistically am looking for up coming materials and other relevant stuff
Jane
January 31, 2018You are welcome Najeeb 🙂
Olekima
December 3, 2017Congrats Jane. This is one of the best literal piece I have come across. It is deep,descriptive and expertly summarised. Am impressed.
Jane
December 3, 2017Thanks Olekima for taking the time to comment 🙂
Varshitha
November 1, 2017Clearly presented in an understandable manner
Jane
November 1, 2017Thanks for taking the time to comment Varshitha.
Anaya Mughal
August 3, 2017Very easy and sufficient matterial. Helpful
Jane
August 3, 2017Thanks Anaya 🙂
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[…] search on the internet. For example, I searched “communication skills” and found an easy-to-read article a few results in. By searching yourself, you can even look for skills to help you in specific […]
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[…] Communication goes a long way in all areas of your life. Communicating effectively can help you in your career, and in your relationships. Often times misunderstandings come from communication failures. Once you are able to communicate your thoughts and ideas to those you interact with, you will find that your life gets a lot easier, and those misunderstandings happen less often. https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/ […]
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[…] (2018). 9 Effective Communication Skills. [online] Available at: https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/ [Accessed 16 Oct. […]
[…] From an early age, it’s important that your child learns how to develop strong bonds with others. By having a close relationship with a nanny, your child learns how to love and care for another person. Therefore, they can utilize these traits later on in life. By having someone close to them, they’ll feel loved and protected, plus always have someone there for them. Also, hiring a nanny helps to develop and improve their communications skills. […]
[…] out these links: https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/. Remember, communicating also includes effective listening: […]
[…] and often. As numerous electricians, plumbers, AC guys, and carpenters worked on this project, communication was key. In leading change, you may want to err on the side of over-communication. Letting people […]
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[…] Nine Effective Communication Skills […]
[…] Effective communication […]
[…] non-verbal body language to reach everyone in an audience and appeal to a broad range of peers. Effective communication stems from a rich vocabulary, dynamic expressiveness, and most importantly, active listening. […]
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