If you have been reading my journal recently you will know I have been taking my perfectionism to coaching. The penny dropped a little while back that I had tendencies towards perfectionism, however I didn’t know how deep it went, until recently. Subsequently, I have been writing about my journey as I am developing insights. I have recently written –
- Moving Past Perfect: 4 Reasons to Let Go of Perfectionism
- Untangling Perfectionism
- Learning to Embrace Imperfection
- Is Perfectionism Getting in the Way of Your Life?
- The Consequences, Affects or Costs of Perfectionism.
Hindsight is as beautiful thing and I can now see how I have had distorted thinking and very deep unresolved emotions and vulnerabilities (e.g. shame) linked to failure, approval and perfectionism from different experiences growing up. For me, underneath perfectionism has been a deep vulnerability around not being worthy of love and belonging or being enough (i.e. good enough).
For as long as I can remember, I have been constantly striving, wanting to be better and/or having more. I believed I had to earn the right to exist and be myself – I couldn’t just be myself. Some of these areas of constant striving in my life included –
- Being fitter,
- Being healthier,
- Being smarter,
- Being prettier,
- Having more money,
- Having more friends,
- Having more time, and
- Having more degrees/certificates.
As I continue to learn to embrace imperfection, I am slowly starting to see how I am enough and don’t have to earn the right to exist anymore. I am alive and enjoying life and that in itself is proof that I am enough and worthy to be alive. Some days this is easier than others, however I know in my heart I will truly embody my enoughness and worthiness one day!
How Am I Practising Enoughness?
To be honest this hasn’t been easy, however like the other distorted thinking patterns I have unravelled over the years, I know it will get easier over time. Currently, a couple of ways I am practising my enoughness include –
- Identifying and acknowledging the different parts of me where I am enough. For example – I am thoughtful and remember people’s birthdays.
- Recognising distorted thinking patterns (i.e. comparing myself to others and therefore not being enough). When I recognise a distorted thinking pattern, I stop and recognise it, then am present with the thoughts, associated feelings and body sensations.
- Repeating the words “I Am Enough”. Yes, I struggle with this and have strong emotions that come up, but again I know it will get easier the more I do it.
I hope that by sharing a little bit of my journey around practising enoughness, you can see that you are also enough and worthy of love and belonging. Remember –
“Love yourself – accept yourself – forgive yourself – and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia
Inspirational Video – I’m Enough
If you have a few extra minutes, you may like to watch this video (however make sure you have tissues close by).
If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angelou
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