Losing Control

Have you ever noticed how much we try and stay in control everything around us? From the people in our lives, to what we eat, to how much money we have in the bank. We can even see control manifest in our bodies by how much we hold on to things and the tension that is help deep within.

One of the beauties of mindfulness is that over time it allows us to see all of the areas where we have been holding on and protecting ourselves. Over time we begin to develop insight and let go of these reasons and start realising we really had no control in the first place – it was an illusion.

Now when I really realised I was losing control of certain things outside of myself, I was absolutely petrified. Why? Because I had spent much of my life protecting my deep vulnerabilities through thinking I had control – imagining myself to be this person society and I had ‘labelled’ myself to be, only to find out it was an illusion! It was very confronting and I remember shedding many tears during that time as deep down I knew there was no more hiding and it was time to face those deeper vulnerabilities.

As time has gone on and I continue to developing my awareness, I am starting to in-joy the lack of control. Somehow, there is a new joy and freedom within it. This freedom is not to be confused with a lack of empathy or laziness. There is a big difference between not caring about things and allowing and accepting things as they are.

Letting go or letting be also doesn’t mean your dreams and goals will automatically manifest either! Life simply becomes clearer – you start seeing things as they are in this moment and where you will spend your time. Space starts to open up for the things that really matter in your life.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be writing about losing control! What an amazing gift this thing called life is and I must say I am very grateful for the people who have supported me on this journey. Without your support, I may have turned back and remained in that illusion!

Please remember, this is truly a journey and I continue to walk that journey moment by moment. Sometimes, I get stuck in that illusion of a ‘self’ outside of me again and when it happens, I gently remind myself to get back to the moment by focusing on my breath.

Thanks for reading and if you have any comments, please write them below.

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