When women work with me for coaching, one of the fears we often discuss is the fear of being selfish.
Even though these women are highly stressed or on the verge of burnout, they are are still worried about being selfish.
Why? Because, these women are deeply driven to care for others and being selfish is the last thing they want to feel. And to avoid feeling selfish they just keep going and put the needs of others before their own.
I can relate to that conflict (yes the long hours at work, eating on the run, striving to do your best etc.). and it can be very challenging.
However, as I started to transform the conflict, I learnt some valuable insights – including the differences between self-care and selfishness. Following are 3 of those insights.
1. You Are Already Worthy…
Yes truly – worthiness is intrinsic 🙂 You do not have to prove your worth or earn your worth from anyone.
“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” ~ Brené Brown
2. Having Needs is Normal
We all have needs – it is part of being human, not selfishness. It is your responsibility to discover and meet your needs – not someone else’s. And when you meet your needs, you will have more to give (which is number 5).
3. Your Have a Purpose and a Gift to Share…
Yes, YOU! There is something only you can do. Love and value yourself enough to follow your dreams and passions. As Hayley Okines has shown, life isn’t about the length of your stay here on earth, it is about what you do with the time you do have. Are you giving everything you can to sharing your purpose and gift?
4. Ignorance is Not Bliss!
Exhaustion, stress and burnout do not equate to personal effectiveness or good results for anyone. Yes truly!
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
5. You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have
Yes truly! If you are exhausted, stressed or burnout then what do you have to give? If on the other hand you started to develop self-compassion, took better care of yourself, develop self-acceptance and self-respect – what do you think you could give then? This is articulated in the following clip by Dr Wayne Dyer –
Over to You –
Are there any other reasons, why it is ok to be selfish sometimes? If so, feel free to share them below!
And remember – “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” ~ E.E. Cummings
Feel free to share any comments below and if you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?
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