9 Ways You Could Be Giving Your Power Away (Without Knowing It)

As we move towards the end of the year, many of us invest time in reflecting on the past year and start the process of visualising and preparing for another year.

Since I started completed my end-of-year review ritual in 2013, I have been identifying ways I have given my power away. Each year I have made adjustments to untangle from disempowering thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

During this past year of reflection, I realised how I had fallen back in to some of my habits of giving my power away again, instead of focusing on what I can control. Subsequently, I wanted to share 9 of them with you, in case they might help.


9 Ways You Could Be Giving Your Power Away (Without Knowing It).

Following are 9 ways you could be giving away your personal power without realising it.

  1. You think your sense of worthiness is dependent on what other people think of you – remember not everyone is going to like you and that is OK. As Albert Einstein has been quoted – “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”
  2. You’re complaining  – I love Eckhart Tolle’s take on this “See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
  3. You lack personal accountability – accountability is similar to responsibility and since it is your life, you get to choose what you say yes and no to 🙂
  4. You don’t set boundaries for yourself – “When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.” ~ Brené Brown
  5. You’re unclear of your values – values are one element that drive behaviours, so not knowing your own values can put you at risk of living someone else’s life and not living your potential. His Holiness the Dalai Lama says “Developing inner values is much like physical exercise. The more we train our abilities, the stronger they become. The difference is that, unlike the body, when it comes to training the mind, there is no limit to how far we can go.”
  6. You’re eating emotionally – you are in good company here, I learnt this behaviour very young and have been untangling from it for a while now. One thing I continue to remember is – “If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.” ~ Unknown
  7. You’re overly self-critical – continually listening to the voice inside our heads is a big way we can give our power away. This inner voice has been referred to by many names from the ego to the monkey mind. The great thing is, it is not who you truly are and you can learn to untangle from it over time.
  8. You lack forgiveness – yes I know life can be challenging and people can do very nasty things. What I have realised is that only hurt people, hurt people and “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~ Catherine Ponder. Forgive for you!
  9. Your language is implying you are a victim and don’t have a choice – remember each moment we can choose whether we are at cause or effect. Here is a great video that shows the power of words.


Where Are You Giving Your Power Away?

Now that you have read the above list, are there any areas where you are giving your power away? If so, what are they?

If you are not sure where you are giving your power away, look at the places in your life where you are not happy. You could consider situations, circumstances, people, emotions or anything that “makes you” unhappy.


Over to You…

Now that you have identified where you are giving your power away, what is your next step? Whatever it is, make sure you take your self-compassion with you! Remember you can only control you and your response to life 🙂


If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?

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