Cultivating the Habit of Valuing Yourself – An Exercise in Self-Love

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi


Do you value yourself? Yes, YOU! If so, how do you value yourself? If you don’t value yourself, why not?

After posting about the Inner Critic, I started to realise how many people struggle with their own self-worth and value (myself included).

Now when I refer to self-worth, I am not talking about self-esteem, I am referring more to self-compassion and valuing ourselves. Christopher Germer in his book The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions refers to self-compassion as

“… simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” It is not about narcissism or trying to prove you are worthy of love or better than other people.

Subsequently, I have been helping my clients (and I have been doing it to) cultivate the habit of valuing themselves and their own worth.

In her book Money: A Love Story, Kate Northrup talks about developing the habit of valuing yourself. Kate says ~

“If you can’t see your value, the world doesn’t give value back.” 

So how can we do this? Glad you asked!


Developing the Habit of Valuing Yourself –

The following steps can help you develop the habit of valuing yourself

  1. Find a journal that you can write in.
  2. Each day for the next 28 days, write down 3 specific things you value about yourself. For example – writing “I have strong, toned legs that get me from place to place” is more specific that “I’m healthy.”
  3. Create a recurring event as a reminder for the next 27 days in your phone or calendar. Each time you hear the reminder, write down three NEW things you value about yourself. Be specific and don’t repeat something that you have written the day before. Also remember no excuses, just do it!

This activity will take about 5 minutes per day and if you do it for the 28 days, you will have started to form a solid foundation for valuing yourself.


Reflection Questions –

  • How did you feel when you started valuing yourself?
  • How do people respond to you when you start valuing yourself?


If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heartwhy not join our Toolkit?


References –

Germer, C. (2009). The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions. New York: Guilford Press.

Northrup, K. (2013 ) Money – A Love Story. United States: Hay House Inc.