Over the past month or so (after the hiccup in my life), I have been becoming more and more intimate with my feelings and the body sensations and thoughts associated with them and continuing to realise how our feelings matter. Funnily enough, this is also what I help people with – being with their feelings (seeing them as just energy in motion), accepting themselves and allowing themselves to be fully seen.
In my heart, I knew these feelings were something I needed to be with, however it was something I had avoided for so many years as well as using many well-known coping mechanisms to suppress my feelings like keeping busy, working hard, food, exercise etc. Even though, I had seen Dr Brené Brown’s talks on The Power of Vulnerability and The Price of Invulnerability, I have to agree with her Joy: “It’s Terrifying!”. However, I also have to say it has been worth the journey and I have greater mindfulness and self-compassion towards my self.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Some people indicate Emotional Quotient (EQ) is more Important to Success than IQ. however I would say it is something we have to be aware of and recognise within ourselves and not judge them – just accept them. John Mayer and Peter Salovey (1997) defined emotional intelligence as involving the abilities to –
- perceive emotions,
- access and generate emotions to assist thought,
- understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and
- reflectively regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth (Mayer & Salovey, 1997).
Starting to Recognise Emotions
Not sure if you can recognise your emotions? Maybe the following questions can help you reflect?
- What were you feeling during the clip?
- What emotional clues, such as tone of voice, posture, and facial expressions did you pick up in relation to the people in the clip?
- How will you respond to yourself and other’s now after seeing this clip?
We also need to remember, that feelings or emotions are not essentially us (neither are our thoughts), they are an experience. As Rumi so eloquently said in I’ll Meet You There – “Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn’t make any sense”.
Please remember to take care of yourself and if you need help to deal with your emotions, find an experienced professional. I have identified a few websites here specifically for mental health.
If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?
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