Fixing Things or Trying Too Hard..

Have you ever thought life would be better only if I…..? Only if I could do (fill in the blank) things would be better; only if I could have (fill in the blank) life would be easier; only if I could try a little harder to solve this, everything would be OK?

During the past few months, I have been trying hard to figure out what I am meant to do. I can see this is a pattern of mine, that goes back early in my life. Growing up playing tennis, life was very much about achieving and trying really hard or aiming to fix things. It was also about having goals and linearly getting results. I am realising as I go deeper in to my journey of well-being, things do not necessarily have to be fixed per se.

What I mean by that is, everything just is as it is and there is a part of me (well the false part of me – the ego) that thinks things need fixing and I can solve the situation I am in at the moment if I keep pushing and trying hard. Yes, that may have worked in the past, however I am learning I don’t necessarily have to fix something, I have to question the thought, feel, be, accept and embody another element of who I am and see deeper in to the truth. Who or what is that you may ask?

Again, to be honest I am not sure. I am getting to know it little by little. It is a part of me that has been protected in some ways by the part that appeared quite strong and competent. It has a very deep vulnerability to it and really does not know what is going to happen – all it can do is be here now and allow/accept (well most of the time, unless it gets a bit much and I jump back to my thoughts and escape the present moment).

Subsequently, I am sensing things from a much deeper spot within, a place I had disconnected from. My energy is opening up and I am experiencing life in a more dynamic, circular way. I am learning to sit with different situations more, question them and not go in to my reaction of trying to fix them or force things to happen. I know I cannot fix everything or have much control. Yes this is scary in some ways, however I am also becoming softer. I am really not sure how it will all turn out, however time will tell.

Keep in-joying life and all that it has to offer, Jane xx

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