Life – is it a Process or an Outcome?

Life – is it a Process or an Outcome?

Is life more about the process or the outcome or is it both and does it depend on where we are in our lives?

If you asked me this question, when I was growing up, I would have probably said it was more about the outcome than the process. Why? Because I was in an environment growing up where it was all about achievement. Being a professional tennis player, I heard it many times – “you are only as good as your last match”. Of course, I believed this and kept pushing myself and my body to the limits. As we were paid on our results, I didn’t listen to my body much and paid the consequences – with many injuries and illnesses.

After much deep reflection, during the past few weeks, I can see the correlations in the next profession I found myself in – the education context. Again, I was focused and determined, worked hard and learnt a lot. I kept on striving to be better and better. After I taught in a school, I then went on to work in a project as I wanted to save the world and really make a difference in this world. After 7 1/2 years travelling the country presenting workshops on mental health and wellbeing, I decided it was time to stop and gave in my resignation.

I resigned from that job on December 31, 2011 for a number of reasons. One being, I felt a lot of emptiness inside me. Now I knew this emptiness was not about the outside world per se, as I was working in what many would call an altruistic area (which was why leaving was a big decision for me). Somehow though, I knew this void was not going to be filled from the outside world as I had tried that before and it hadn’t worked. I knew I had to go deep within myself and find that really deep connection with my soul and face all of my deepest darkest fears. Which is where the process comes in and oh what a process it is!

During the Easter weekend, I faced many fears and found a belief that had been in my subconscious mind since I was 3 years of age. That belief was that I couldn’t be myself. It rocked me to my core. My whole world crumbled in front of my eyes. Everything I thought I was perished and I mean everything. Somehow though, I feel more free than I have ever and am learning to live in the moment and allow life to live through me. I really don’t know what is going to happen – and yes that is scary – especially being a single girl with a mortgage, however I am learning to trust in this process of life more and more. I am also fortunate to have some amazing people around me and they have been helping me through this. However, in the end we truly have to walk this journey ourselves.

 

Over to You…

So is life about the process or the outcome? For me, I would have to say it used to be more about the outcome, however now it is about the process and I am learning to just be with the process of what is in this moment! Maybe that is why I had to go through my journey up until now, to see life is a process and an outcome? I don’t know. What are your thoughts? Please share with me below!

Thanks for reading, Jane xx