My Expectations were Limitations!

Life continually amazes me. At the moment I am going with the flow in my life. I am living in a space of gratitude and allowing and accepting life as it is (although I do forget some days).

It surprises many people (myself included some days) as I was taught (or maybe conditioned) to have lots of goals and strive to achieve many things in life (which I did). However even after achieving these goals, I knew and felt something deep within was missing as well as being quite tired.

In the past I used to have my life all planned out (or so I thought). Now I am going with the flow more and in-joying life. Do I take action – absolutely, every day, but it is a different type of action. The actions and instructions are coming from a different place.

How did this come about? There have been many insights, however one was – I began to see many of the expectations I had in relation to life were becoming limitations and draining my energy and keeping me out of the present moment. I kept on thinking about different areas – thought I ‘should’ do this and ‘need to do that’.

For example, when I resigned from my job on December 31, 2011, I had so many things planned – I wanted to do this and that. Then all of a sudden reality set in and I found out how truly exhausted I was.

Subsequently, life took on a whole new meaning and I spent many a day (and sometimes days) in bed or lying on the couch – too exhausted to go anywhere or talk to anyone. Looking back and reflecting on this time, I can see this is exactly what was needed and I let go of trying to control life.

I started to trust that something else also had my higher purpose and best interests at heart as well and knew ‘I’ could not do it all. The ‘I’ could be referred to as the ego or identity and labels I had believed and was told about my ‘self’ along the way. The other element, could be referred to as the universe, however you can name it what you like (Buddha, God or ??) – the labelling is not that important – the embodiment of this (insert label here) is.

Subsequently, I am beginning to trust more and more in the process of accepting what is and being instead of doing all of the time. Amongst other things, I have also let go of any expectations – not only on myself, but also of other people.

Funny enough, a quote was shared on Facebook a couple of days ago “don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them”. So no longer am I disappointed when things don’t happen (which again was also impacting my energy), I am living and accepting life as it is, which is a real gift.

At the moment my morning routine is waking up and meditating. Then through that meditation I am inspired and receive a prompting or guidance as to what I am meant to do that day or later in the week (which I write it down or put it in my diary).

Frequently this is only one thing, which makes my heart sing as I am free to just be. Somehow the practicalities of life – like paying the bills and eating also seem to happen. Although I have been guilty of getting back in my head and playing out old belief systems when things get a little tough. However, I then realise what is happening, consciously take a deep breath, and get back to the present moment.

I wonder what the next un-learning will be? Thanks for reading, Jane xx


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