Engaged Feedback Checklist by Dr Brené Brown

After being a teacher and working in mental health and wellbeing field for quite a number of years and now working with business’s, when I saw the Engaged Feedback Checklist by Dr Brené Brown, I wanted to share it. Why? Because one of the areas each of these different people and organisation’s have as part of their job descriptions is providing feedback and feedback can lead to engagement or disengagement.


Vulnerability and Feedback

In her book – Daring Greatly, Brené indicates “vulnerability is at the heart of the feedback process”, whether we are giving, receiving or asking for feedback. Providing feedback is not about shaming, blaming, name-calling, showing favouritism, belittling, humiliating or harassing people – which quite often leads to disengagement, it is about “constructive, honest and engaged feedback”.

Yes, sometimes (OK, a bit more than sometimes) this is not comfortable, however as the John Maxwell quote says – “if we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone”.


Engaged Feedback Checklist by Dr Brené Brown

So what is constructive, honest and engaged feedback? Brené refers to it as “sitting on the same side of the table” and it was used to create her Engaged Feedback Checklist (p.204, Daring Greatly) –

“I know I am ready to give feedback when –

  • I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you;
  • I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you);
  • I’m ready to listen, ask questions and accept that I may not fully understand the issue;
  • I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes;
  • I recognise your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges;
  • I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you;
  • I’m willing to own my part;
  • I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings;
  • I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity; and
  • I can model the vulnerability and openness that I can expect from you.”

You can find a printed version of this checklist on Brené’s website and you can click here to access it.


Over to You…

I wonder how different schools, workplaces and families would be if we used the “sitting on the same side of the table” approach? Feel free to let me know your comments below!


If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?


Reference –

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York, USA: Penguin.


  • Steward Clinton

    Reply Reply December 7, 2020

    Good to know, thanks for sharing.

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